Someone told me once, “Life is tricky, you ought to keep your guards up!!” but this person never told me why I should do that. With passage of time, I completely forgot what he told me and to tell you the truth his face as well. But now I know why he warned me and I know how important it is.
I am not a kind of guy who is self-centred. I am weirdo with a huge heart, which has done nothing except for beating and giving me endless pain. (I am not boasting that I am a very nice human but this what my friends always say for me.) Life has shown me many colours but I have always been unlucky when it came to red colour. The crimson red colour of love and death as well. I have seen its worse side but never a side where it bathed me in light of sheer bliss.
Why is that?? I never expect more than I can get. I never force myself on anyone. I give it a chance and let it blossom and moreover, I never confess what’s on my mind to the other person to avoid an awkward situation or losing someone amazing or killing the brewing future. Am I doing something wrong?
I am so confused these days that I have been marking mails to wrong departments at work. This time I think I committed a blunder; I confessed my feelings to someone who never cared about them. No idea what got into me and why I did what I never did in my life.
I want to write and express so much but I am not able to. There is so much in my head that I want to share but words are leaving my side. I am falling apart for falling for someone. I need to get back together before I loose myself. Whole day I stare at my phone in a hope but this person is going to ping me and tell me what’s cooking in the head. ‘I am sorry for bringing troubles in your life.” This is what you have to say?? Really? “It bothers me.” Sorry, I don’t think so. I never bothered you in 1st place and it will never bother you for rest of your life. From past 5 days, I have been sharing my past and present, but what all I get is “I wanna/need to meet you”. For What?? Have fun with/meet anyone you want to or do anything in your life –DRAMA,WORK or MBA, just do not bother me. So good luck as I am slowly going to disappear from your happening life. I am done holding the door for you.
To tell you the truth, your life never changed its pace, if I was there before or not present now.