Saturday, 28 March 2015

Bottled Up Emotions

I am not aware if I am taking a right decision or a wrong one... I am just too confused about everything in my life... Maybe my decision is correct or may be it is a hasty one... I love this person but I am not sure about this person... All I want is an assurance that I am not able to drive the same from anywhere... I want to talk to someone who can give me an unbiased view/insight on my present situation... I am 26 and this persons is so young... I am not worried about infidelity as I am well aware that at 23 years of age, the hormones tend to run wild... I am not sure about myself... I feel everything is a lie... I am not able to believe this person's words as the past experience has shown that concocting stories comes easy to this person... All I want is inner peace that is missing... It is like I am walking hand-in-hand with a strange dream that I want to sleep with but at the same time want to wake up as soon as possible.. It scares the hell out me thinking about this scenario... I feel like a stranger in this person's life.... Every now and then a fact comes out and my mind switches off... I am trying to sleep over the facts but I cannot keep on ignoring.... Someone suggested me to move on but it is not easy to leave the person who loves you and your heart feels the same love... 

Tuesday, 16 December 2014

Thoughts before 'YOU' came to my LIFE!!

In past 1 year, I have tried very hard to understand why things never went according to me. Everyone accepts certain things, but somehow I don't even have that right. People approach me when they have tons of sad memories and bad experiences to share. I patiently listen to every detail they have to spill out. But I don't have any idea how to share my heart with people. It aches and breaks on everyday basis, but I just tend to move on with life. It is like, I have become a tree on the roadside under which people stand for shade or dogs tend to pee or kids love to hang from the branches. 'Oh, he understands everything', 'he is so patient', or he doesn't need any help as he is good at resolving issues for others. Why do people forget that I am human too and not a machine? I know it is my fault as I let people walk all over me and fade away. I should have approached people and shared my feeling for them, but you will not believe me that I have done the same. One can suggest me that I should be more vocal and learn to be content with myself. I am content with my life, career choice, company of great friends, and other things. In so many years, all I could achieve, till now, is to be a great friend and a support for so many people. I should be named as 'Mother Teresa' in this aspect. I fail to understand, where am I going wrong? What I should have done in a manner to have an amazing relationship? My mom told me once, you should be successful to attract people towards you. I am 25 and my career is pacing in a right direction.

It is always I, never we. My soul aches for that support that one can get through companionship. People want to change for others but I never expect anyone to change for me. I know I have thousand defects and I have never hidden anything from anyone. I have a rule- "Never hide anything from anyone". For a successful relationship, you ought to come clean first with yourself and then with the other person. I just cannot move ahead building a wrong impression on someone and letting that person's hope fly high. What is wrong in confessing that you have defects and you have no power to rectify them. Does love has to be so judgmental to accept you as person with defects? I am not a hopper or a person who actually understands a one-night-stand. I am very simple soul who believes that one person is enough for me. I am not boasting but I never required to approach anyone for anything. All I want is stability without compromising on truth or changing myself or the other person. 

Sunday, 22 June 2014


Of course, I know I’m doing it. I have been doing it since my junior years at school and it is something that every man wants to do after a hectic day. What is bad about doing something that is not going to harm anyone? What do you do when you meet someone mesmerizing? You smile, talk, buy a drink and then you do it! It is like you are in heat and you both want to do it so bad that you do not even remember next morning that who started it and where it all ended. Yeah-Yeah, some people say that you should not let your guards down so soon but do you really give a damn when someone compliments you and you get washed away with the high current? Nah, you never, I can bet on it. Even mature good-looking people have no control on it. All they do is just smile and let the things happen so that they can smile about throughout the next day.

Oops, before you get a wrong meaning out of whatever I said above, let me clear the air. I was talking about- Flirting, an Art practiced by the people who use their happy hormones in a correct manner and depend less on emotions. This art has been the integral part of the royal courts and has been passed-down from generations to generations to ensure that men and women have something more to do with drinks. Queen Cleopatra, the real queen of flirting was the first lady to make the royal courts cry over their bankruptcy and wives for their love-stung husbands. Being a Flirt is a sin in the society as you are looked down upon as a Charmer, Wing-man, Player, Mack Daddy and more. The inevitable fact about being a flirt, which is always ignored, is that you are capable to wooing people within seconds when other spend eternity and are never successful. You walk in a room, make an eye contact with a person and you know where to concentrate all your energy.

Flirting is an art that can be used in one’s own advantage aswell. Coy smile, a slight tilt of the head, the slow brush of an imaginary hair from the colleague’s suit, the twinkly laugh and what not, everybody on the earth is doing it just to get their work done by hook or crook. It is not a malpractice; it is just a playful approach towards a scenario that can lead to a heated discussion. The trick is to do this while understanding the social cues. It also makes you more conscious about yourself. You end up taking more care of your face, the way you walk, the way you dress and the way you communicate. So the end result is all positive and you are looking fab-u-lous! Flirting is way to gain self-confidence and is a natural source of positive energy.
It’s the ultimate power tool. I just cannot stop myself reaping it’s benefits. So people just don’t sit der behind your desks, freshen up and approach the one you always wanted to talk to. Because that person is not going to bite you in the public (atleast)!


Me – “You know what, I feel like a vampire, thirsty for the fresh blood from pulsating nerves of your cervical neck”
She – What?
Me – “Yes, your eyes are making me lose myself and overpowering my senses.”
Me- “Wanna fell my racing beats in just your mere presence; I have no idea what else you are capable of?”

PAUSE-FROWN, RED FACE, fingers rolling into a FIST.

She- “Mr. I am taken”
Me- “I just wish all the luck to the man who dared to touch the goddess with his bare hands.”
She- Her sparkling whites, twinkle in eyes and rose red cheeks expressed how flattered she was.

1 down, that’s not bad but one down at the starting of a crazy night ahead is a serious low down. Yes, I can spring back and flatter any woman in 360-degree view but a defeat at the beginning, pull some strings back on a serious note. It is not hard to take a defeat but forgetting it is as difficult as forgetting your boss shouting in the glass torture chamber. Every word from the boss echoes when a girl turns you down on your face. As such, flirts are known for ‘Have no respect at table and in bed’ attitude. However, they also have letdown moments which they do not even want der ‘chaddi-buddies’ to known about. We have a tradition to save, follow the guidance passed down by our flirty ancestors and never let anyone tarnish our ever-sparkly image.

We are not born on Mars and sent to earth to ruin the nights of over protective boyfriends or worried dads with big riffles. We are just here to have a good time and walk out of the crowded bar with a beauty on the arms, if we are in mood to take the whole scene one-step further. Flirting gives us a kick that no drug can give. The flushed expressions, biting lips, twinkling eyes and that trustful tilt of your body towards us makes us go on and on to reach the epitome of the whole conversation. It’s like a stage performance where you need to impress some hand full of people but the only difference here is you are all alone and you have to have energy of the whole troop to impress one person. This is an art that can mess up your day or make someone else’s day as who doesn't like to be bombarded with compliments. But what you need to keep in mind is that flirting is an art to cool down your muscles, relive your stress and let the happy hormones flow to various parts of your body. Sheer optimism drives the whole art form and can help you meeting new people and make contacts at power tables. So never, let your guards down, spray a new fragrance and put up a classy appearance with a sparkly smile to impress the next one.  I think the girl in blue is smiling at me, so bye and forget what I revealed to you just now! Ciao 

One should either be a work of art, or wear a work of art!!

Sculpture, painting, sketches and what not in the art fame wall can be made a visual art, odds are fashion sculptors are already picking up ideas for their new runway collection. Fashion houses are crawling under the layers of art world to find inspiration that is out-of-the-box. Creative ideas are put-on-rest and fresh designs are piled up on the desk while the brains are busy hurling art forms that are not mainstream. Their Muses’ flames have inspired a fresh collection that is vivid and has a concept that talks out load about the ideas it carries in the form of woven fabric. The collections inspired by the art form are a play of unique eye-catching patterns that will flatter the feminine silhouette. The collection expresses attitude and symmetry at the same time. The result of the inspiration is a thematic collection that has spread its wings from perfume bottle prints to the world of interiors.

Art and Fashion have been walking hand-in-hand through centuries and return to the runway after the end of a fashion decade. It is difficult now to differentiate between the two anymore. They have blurred together to create a world where art can weaved with hands that can even paint a masterpiece. Sometimes, it pumps your heart and makes the hair of your face stand with amusement created by the mix. Years went by to achieve this perfect recipe that made every eye filled with lust to own the great Mix’s baby. French couturier Paul Poiret was one of the names that actually showed deep interest in Art and even employed Persian Artists that fueled the same. He collected Impressionist paintings that were unacceptable by the hall of art and used those as inspiration for theater costumes. Today, it can be concluded that there is no line between them. The pieces churning out from this great relation portrays the highly charged moments of emotions, sexuality, gender, politics, modernism, and romanticism.  The changing cuts, fabrics and prints of the pieces from the renowned designers through the time have a close relation to the development in the field of Art. When designers and artists work together as a team, the question of whether fashion is art pops-up. The muses’ inspire a collection that is both visually awe-inspiring and something familiar is presented in an unfamiliar way.  Clothes are now statements while the wearers are becoming walking canvases.

Monday, 17 March 2014

Let it be!!

Someone told me once, “Life is tricky, you ought to keep your guards up!!” but this person never told me why I should do that. With passage of time, I completely forgot what he told me and to tell you the truth his face as well. But now I know why he warned me and I know how important it is.

I am not a kind of guy who is self-centred. I am weirdo with a huge heart, which has done nothing except for beating and giving me endless pain. (I am not boasting that I am a very nice human but this what my friends always say for me.)  Life has shown me many colours but I have always been unlucky when it came to red colour. The crimson red colour of love and death as well. I have seen its worse side but never a side where it bathed me in light of sheer bliss.

Why is that?? I never expect more than I can get. I never force myself on anyone. I give it a chance and let it blossom and moreover, I never confess what’s on my mind to the other person to avoid an awkward situation or losing someone amazing or killing the brewing future. Am I doing something wrong?

I am so confused these days that I have been marking mails to wrong departments at work. This time I think I committed a blunder; I confessed my feelings to someone who never cared about them. No idea what got into me and why I did what I never did in my life.

I want to write and express so much but I am not able to. There is so much in my head that I want to share but words are leaving my side. I am falling apart for falling for someone. I need to get back together before I loose myself. Whole day I stare at my phone in a hope but this person is going to ping me and tell me what’s cooking in the head. ‘I am sorry for bringing troubles in your life.” This is what you have to say?? Really? “It bothers me.” Sorry, I don’t think so. I never bothered you in 1st place and it will never bother you for rest of your life. From past 5 days, I have been sharing my past and present, but what all I get is “I wanna/need to meet you”. For What?? Have fun with/meet anyone you want to or do anything in your life –DRAMA,WORK or MBA, just do not bother me. So good luck as I am slowly going to disappear from your happening life. I am done holding the door for you.

To tell you the truth, your life never changed its pace, if I was there before or not present now.